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by queenofalostart |
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| Chupa
Chups: 0 (The hunger strike continues! Plus, am
scared of growing addiction.) Painkillers: 5 Aleves (Having withdrawal headaches.) |
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| Can't
sleep. All I do it lay and stare at the ceiling, counting
the fine tiles. If I squint just so, I can see patterns
emerge. One of the patterns looked like my home away from
home, the fair ile of Ibiza, where Master Lex saved me
from certain death. It was there I was seduced by Hector
"Snake" Riveira's son, the dashing and debonair
Edwardo "Bawdy" Riviera. How was I to know that
they were part of the mafiaso? I thought their nicknames
were cute, I didn't know they were made men. I mean, come
on, what self-respecting mobster has the name
"Bawdy"? Maybe a British one. Anyway, I'm
forgetting the whole point - Master Lex saved me from
certain death, taking me in (half-naked and fully made up
for the clubs) and disguising me as his manservant. And
serve him I shall until my dying day! My recent behavior has
troubled me - without the sweet, saccharine influence of
the Chupa Chups, I realize that licking razor blades will
just not do. I've got to come up with a plan to make
Master Lex realize that I am much more than I was that
first day I laid eyes on him. I am not simply a love-sick
puppy who likes to wear glittery pink eyeshadow on his
days off. I am better than that boy he rescued (at least
my fashion sense has improved). I am better than Fruity,
that insufferable goofball that keeps tracking dirt into
the front hall without a care in the world. Although,
since I have weaned myself off the Chupa Chups, the
jealous rage he inspires has subsided. And I noticed he
has cute bum. Hmmm...perhaps I should attempt to seduce
Fruity, in order to show my virility to Master Lex! And
then maybe Master Lex would like to join us? Oh, capital
idea. Must go and rearrange Ty Nant bottles to enhance my
love and sexuality chi centers! Note to self: I am a sex
god. Second note to self: Must enroll Fruity in getting
rid of Scary Floating Boobs. Maybe I can get the other
hired help in on the scheme, too. Very last note to self:
Remember, I am a sex god! |
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