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by Tresca |
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| Chupa
Chups: None! I am on a hunger strike! At least
until that vile evil thing leaves the castle. Plus, my
tongue still kind of hurts from that razor incident... Annoying Phone Calls: 18 |
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| I
don't understand what I have done to deserve this
punishment! That, that, Victoria woman is still here. It
is as if the castle has been infested with cockroaches!
Except ones with giant fake boobies and no intelligence
whatsoever. Today, I was dusting in the hall and I found
the silly twit talking to the potted palm! Just standing
there, stupid as can be, prattering on about her
so-called brilliant plan. I believe she even called the
plant "Sir Harry". Not like I can understand a
word she says. This morning, at breakfast, I served her a
plate of waffles (oh, how I wish I could have dusted them
with arsenic instead of powdered sugar!) and she turned
to me and said (to the best of my knowledge):
"Buggle, Prelkler timple wallafle farfee?" I
blinked at her a few times, not quite sure how to respond
to this strange language. Thankfully, Master Lex spared
me by shaking his keys in front of her, completely
distracting her as she went glassy-eyed and said
"Ooooh. Shiny!" As if being left at home all day with her was not enough, I have started receiving prank calls today. When I answer the phone, there is usually a long pause and then a man with a British accent says, "Arglefuffle, fries?" This is followed by histerical laughter until I hang up the phone. I suspect it is the same man who called me before The Bane of My Existence showed up. I must find a way to send her back to him. He is enjoying this entirely too much!! For the time
being, I think I will forego my Lex Licking plans and
focus my energy on removing the filth from the castle. My
tongue needs sufficient time to heal in any case. I
wonder if I led her outside and just simply closed the
door behind her if that would solve everything? Ah well,
I will plot some more. Now I must see if I can find more
glue and feathers so that I can accesorize more of her
ugly clothing. |
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